The last time I blogged was on the eve of my middle son’s 4th birthday. I remember very much wanting to post about his birthday, just as I had done every year for him up until then. But I also remember feeling wistful and a little sad about Noah turning four. Because he had very recently been promoted to “middle child” and was certainly no longer my baby – or a baby at all for that matter – he had rocketed into “big kid” territory and I was helpless to slow down time.
Perhaps it was a little bit of stubbornness, hoping that maybe if I didn’t write about it, he wouldn’t grow up so damn quickly, that it wouldn’t be as ‘real’. Or perhaps it was due to the fact that I had a newborn and 2 older kids and was getting about 3 hours of sleep per night and had no time to write let alone shower or eat. Or because I was in the midst of going overboard on an elaborate Ninja Turtle-themed 4th birthday party that we were about to host in our home. Well, whatever it was, I never did finish that birthday blog post and in fact never came back to post again…
Now today, nearly 4 years later, it is the eve of my youngest son’s 4th birthday. And I am suffering an even more desperate feeling of time slipping all too quickly through my fingers. My baby boy — my littlest, most charming, adorable, hilarious snuggle bug — will be FOUR tomorrow. You guys: HOW is this even possible?! 4 years ago on a frigid January night I met the best surprise of my life and I am forever changed by this sweet little soul.
Tonight I finished the far less involved (but still probably more than is considered reasonable for any normal human) Batman-themed birthday party planning. And so now I write. I haven’t written in so long, I fear I’ve lost my groove. I miss taking a little snapshot in history of our everyday life. Not that anyone else in the world needs to read about our not-entirely-that-enthralling life, but it’s so fun to look back on these posts from over the years. And I really truly do miss writing. But more on that later…perhaps in another post?! Ah, perhaps.
As with many youngest children, poor Finny has very few professional photos taken, very little in the way of scrapbooking/recording his history, and many of his milestones were half-assedly celebrated on the sidelines of an older sibling’s basketball game or soccer practice. His “firsts” may not have been entirely new and novel to us as veteran parents, but for me, they had a different effect: his “firsts” were my “lasts”. My last baby starting solid foods. My last baby learning to walk. My last baby saying his first word. But I am excited for my last baby to have his very first “friend party” tomorrow night. I don’t think he has a clue what to expect, but there will be pizza and cupcakes so I know he’s totally down for all that.
So here I am on the eve of my last baby’s fourth birthday feeling absurdly sentimental about his life on this planet. Finn is our Star Wars-loving, Brit-cartoon-obsessed, precocious, cheeky, lovey, lispy little sugar booger and I cannot imagine our life without him in it. What a cool little person he is becoming. So I may just go pour myself a glass of wine to celebrate. A toast: to our survival of another ‘threenager’, to a healthy & happy little boy, to our FOUR year old Finn Gunnar! We love you, little man!